I was asked this question three times in one week recently. So, I decided to take the opportunity to sit down, reflect, and really define what exactly it was that made an ADHD-focused virtual assistant different (not better) from a regular neurotypical-focused virtual assistant. Why should someone living with ADHD feel that they’re getting anything different with an ADHD VA than they would with someone whose focus has nothing to do with ADHD? I mean, they’re both skilled individuals – but is that enough?
Initially, I spent a great deal of time thinking about the practical aspects of what we do and wondered what it was about those methods that were markedly different from what a neurotypical-focused VA might offer. Ultimately, I decided that it’s not some magical method that we’ve developed, it’s about the way we treat and work with people.
Let’s start with the basics.
What Is A Virtual Assistant?
The label of Virtual Assistant has an extremely wide range of aspects to it. A virtual assistant is simply someone who will assist you virtually from their own personal office. A virtual assistant can do anything from general admin work to complicated and specialized tasks. You just have to find one who offers the kinds of skills you need.
It’s easy to think of administration when one thinks of a virtual assistant, but that’s only a very small part of what we do. You can find a VA who specializes in just about anything. You might need someone who specialized in systems, or someone whose strength is in copywriting or marketing, podcasts or bookkeeping. Quite literally anything you can think of, you can likely find a VA who is able to get it accomplished.
What Is ADHD?
ADHD is a neurodevelopmental condition characterized by symptoms such as inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsiveness – among many other things. We often have difficulty managing time, finishing projects, and remembering everything we need to accomplish.
While ADHDers are fantastic at coming up with ideas, are often extremely creative, and frequently make for wonderful entrepreneurs, we also often struggle with procrastination, overwhelm, and time blindness, among other things. Each person’s ADHD is unique to them with individual struggles and strengths, and ADHDers have other neurospicy traits that oftentimes pair with ADHD.
Combine the two and you have an ADHD virtual assistant.
In practical terms, an ADHD virtual assistant aims to mitigate the difficulties listed above by providing features specifically tailored to help individuals with ADHD better manage their time, prioritize tasks, and stay organized.
For example, an ADHD virtual assistant might provide customized reminders for appointments, tasks, and medication schedules. They might also include a goal tracking feature to help individuals set and achieve personal or professional goals, as well as a task prioritization feature to help them focus on the most important tasks first.
In the long run, however, the practical aspects of how we assist our clients aren’t what really set us apart from a neurotypical-focused VA. What truly makes us different is the way in which we interact and work with our clients.
First and foremost, we understand what those living with ADHD live with (I live with it myself). That understanding alone sets us apart from a non-ADHD VA. We’re not surprised or disappointed if a meeting is forgotten or canceled at the last minute. We’re not offended or put out if it takes our clients a week to respond. We aren’t bothered by a random need to do a brain dump, or multiple one-off requests being sent our way throughout the day. We are not bothered by any of these things, because those with ADHD are one of our tribe. They are the very people we have chosen – very deliberately chosen – to have surrounding us. We chose to work with those who have ADHD because it’s important to us and we care about what’s going on in their lives, not just because we need a paycheck.
When we begin working with a new client, the first thing we focus on is getting to know the person – not just the job – which is another aspect that sets us apart. Through the process of getting to know the person, we are able to learn what each client thrives at and what they struggle with, then we learn what they need. Some clients need continuous accountability – someone to answer to when it comes to getting things done. Others simply need us to step into the role of handling things that they cannot bring themselves to do, such as picking up the phone to make an appointment. Once we’ve learned the client’s individual strengths and struggles, we begin to build a customized and individualized system and process for that client.
Everyone with ADHD has what I have come to refer to as their own “brand” of ADHD, thanks to the Unpacking ADHD course by Don Baker, MA, LMHC. No two people living with ADHD struggle with the same exact things. Because the aspects of our ADHD are unique to each of us, the challenges we each face are very individualized.
In light of that, there isn’t any one system that works across the board for those with ADHD any more than there is one system that works across the board for those without ADHD. Therefore, it’s important that each client be given a personalized approach to handling whatever it is that they’ve come to us for assistance with. We work to develop a system and strategy that will allow the ADHD client to succeed, not insist that they fit into a pre-boxed system.
On that note, an ADHD virtual assistant won’t expect the client to conform to any one certain system or process. Most virtual assistants have a structure to how they work with their clients. It’s how they keep everything organized and avoid chaos. Unfortunately, those systems don’t always work well for those of us with ADHD because they’re usually developed with the neurotypical way of working in mind. If that system doesn’t happen to work for someone with ADHD, there often isn’t the flexibility to adjust according to what works best for the client instead.
In addition to customization and flexibility, it’s also the way an ADHD virtual assistant will interact with the client that makes them different. For example, many of us with ADHD struggle with Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD), so how we engage and communicate with clients is always done with that in mind.
RSD is when you experience severe emotional pain beyond what’s considered “normal” because of a failure or feeling rejected. We often internalize people’s actions or reactions as our fault or failure, and then we feel it more acutely than most. Going about things in a businesslike manner is often off-putting to our ADHD clients, so we make every effort to be warm and welcoming at all times. An ADHD VA knows to be aware of the tone of their words, facial expressions, and actions. We actively work to make the client feel comfortable, seen, and understood. We do not communicate displeasure or condemnation for mistakes because we have compassion for the way an ADHD brain works and we know that we’re ALL imperfect.
The strongest, longest-standing relationships that we’ve established with our clients have come from actively working to grow the actual relationship, not just getting the job done. That involves genuinely caring about what is going on in their lives, with their families, and with their businesses. It means asking questions that encourage our clients to open up and talk to us, because we genuinely care about the answers. We actively listen to our clients, get to know them as individuals, treat them with warmth and friendliness, and strive to never communicate displeasure or disappointment in any way.
Lastly, the VAs at The Ambitious Assistant are ADHD Virtual Assistants certified. This means that we have chosen to dedicate our time to better educating ourselves about the best ways to work with – not against – ADHD. We reward continuous ADHD education to encourage our VAs to never let their knowledge become stale. There are always new and exciting things to learn about ADHD and we make sure our VAs are aware of as much of it as possible. Knowledge is definitely power when it comes to working with the neurodiverse. How can one effectively support someone with ADHD if they don’t understand it?
As mentioned in the beginning, an ADHD virtual assistant is not better than a non-ADHD virtual assistant. The only thing an ADHD virtual assistant is better at is specifically working with those who have ADHD. If you’re considering hiring a virtual assistant and you live with ADHD, book a short call with us here to see if we’re a good fit for your needs. We would love to meet you!
